blinksmilewink

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Offline (the 02/18/2016 at 6:05pm)

blinksmilewink

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3841
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

blinksmilewink's page activity

Visits<b>witebted</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:38pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:22am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>jazjack12325</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:32pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>delude</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Equinoxxa</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:39pm<b>xXjakobXx</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:42pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 7:43pm<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:33pm<b>shadowofbong</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:22pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:14pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:01pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 10:18am<b>technochik3</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 5:31pm

Fucked!<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:16pm

blinksmilewink's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of blinksmilewink's badges

blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

by happy birthday to me / 12/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

by CurseYouSonyaLee / 11/12/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

by myheadhurts / 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous