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blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
by happy birthday to me / 12/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by CurseYouSonyaLee / 11/12/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by myheadhurts / 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by RidingCJ / 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals
by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health
by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she… Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with… Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him…