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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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blink182lover

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blink182lover

About blink182lover : dance to the music in head,
let those u love know it,

you+me=perfection
but we all know perfection is impossible to reach..
so the equation turns out to be..
me-you=ice cream
='(

oh! and i love snowboarding, wakeboarding, hockey, scuba diving, gymnastics, MTV, Mentalist, LOST (yeah! thats right, lost, ima geek sometimes!!), dogs, chinchillas =P, volleyball, RED WINGS, BLINK182, LIT, BOYS LIKE GIRLS, 3OH!3, P!NK, COLDPLAY, LIFEHOUSE, RADIOHEAD, OFFSPRING, and lotss more..

things that confuzzle me..

if god put adam and ev on the earth, and they populated the whole thing.. does that mean were all imbreads?

if chuck norris created the earth, how does he have a birthday?

y did blink182 ever break up? it was like dividing by 0 for me.. but now theyre back!! YAY!!!

blue+white=light blue
green+white=light green
orange+white=light orange
red+white=pink
wtf?

who the fuc.k invented spelling, like wth is with silent k's and b's and e's and ph sounds like f....that pisses me off...

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blink182lover's favorite FMLs

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML

#902467 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (119973) - you deserved it (40192)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (114334)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (54845) - you deserved it (1844)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167988) - you deserved it (51072)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

#724794 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (23587)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (87831) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (63777)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (61858) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (7450)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154548) - you deserved it (18179)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

#415584 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (58147) - you deserved it (5077)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

#368302 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (54658) - you deserved it (35090)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

#331058 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (51465) - you deserved it (7665)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by storyofmylife - United States

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

#267564 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (53616) - you deserved it (6441)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (64590) - you deserved it (5626)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)