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blazinghero

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blazinghero
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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blazinghero's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62939) - you deserved it (9304)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109946) - you deserved it (7952)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91363) - you deserved it (28436)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

#556029
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48921) - you deserved it (83756)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

#555809
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12453) - you deserved it (83687)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80706) - you deserved it (30133)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11681) - you deserved it (113990)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110720) - you deserved it (20140)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (160937) - you deserved it (27701)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226992) - you deserved it (29229)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (616615) - you deserved it (413578)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70042) - you deserved it (6564)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (71659)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56073) - you deserved it (15811)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218490) - you deserved it (28159)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



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