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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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blameyourself

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blameyourself
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8515
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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blameyourself's favorite FMLs

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (19218) - you deserved it (1349)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

#7721655 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (1582)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (3703)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (4202) - you deserved it (23885)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (48445) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (1603)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to sign up to a dating website. After having a long conversation with one of my matches about how much I hate my job, I decided to meet up with him. It was my boss. FML

#6866233 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (6762)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML

#6853063 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (4407)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:29pm - love - by dayumm_shawtyy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife? FML

#6722392 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (2313)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7650) - you deserved it (24862)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (12939) - you deserved it (53993)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)