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Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you totally deserved it (1760)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126939) - you totally deserved it (9593)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124767) - you totally deserved it (12927)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115514) - you totally deserved it (3877)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158646) - you totally deserved it (10760)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (87678) - you totally deserved it (9843)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, I got a letter from Princeton that said i got accepted. I jumped for joy screaming at the top of my lungs. My little brother walks in laughing with his camcorder on record. He played a joke on me and gave me the real letter. I was denied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (133137) - you totally deserved it (6348)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, on the 6 train home, I had a gun placed against the back of my head and my wallet, watch, and iPod stolen. As soon as the robber got what he wanted, he turned and ran, dropping his weapon to the ground... I got mugged by a man wielding a F*ing Pez dispenser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121261) - you totally deserved it (12128)
On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - money - by BobaFett (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129360) - you totally deserved it (97643)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by plus-sign=bad (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (186018) - you totally deserved it (10710)
On 03/04/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by fam_surprise (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (341162) - you totally deserved it (50468)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
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