Search for a member

Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 3:43pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackman303 : i noticed the funniest comments get thumbs down... ffs people its a joke don't take it so seriously. I'm also known as black Jesus, so that's something, I like meeting people so message me!

blackman303's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 5:10am<b>Rebel_X</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:28am<b>kyra_wiens67</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:19am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>RedneckGamer400</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:17am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:14pm<b>lowj007</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:09pm<b>kindleh09</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:28pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:01am<b>Aliakatherin</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:45am<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:29am<b>dearest_gerr</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:58am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:22pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:52am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:44am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Degenerate118</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:28pm

Fucked!<b>kyra_wiens67</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:35am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:20pm

blackman303's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blackman303's badges

blackman303's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

by its ok to cheat!? / 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

by twohoursclosertodeath / 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

by jasmith / 11/18/2012 at 2:45am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

by TheCerealKiller / 08/07/2012 at 5:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy