[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

blackdog

Search for a member

blackdog
  • Town/Country : denver, america!
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 May 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 50059
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blackdog : http://www.facebook.com/alyssahstump

blackdog's last visitors

Freezejellyomgjb002873khoppeyILIEKGIRLSbertiebass1JustSoLost

blackdog's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

blackdog's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

#6021722 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (46968) - you deserved it (4587)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (35911)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (31570)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44906) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (7094)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44797) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46089) - you deserved it (5478)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (3932)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (46555)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

#4859108 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (48269) - you deserved it (6493)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (2049)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (54501) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (42994) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)