blaackandprouud

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Offline (the 04/21/2016 at 11:08pm)

blaackandprouud

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3035
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About blaackandprouud : I'm Kenyan and Canadian

Everything I do is a joke so chill

blaackandprouud's page activity

Visits<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:37am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Marynfrankie</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:44am<b>chelseaclaire</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:06am<b>amine91</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:27am<b>Trippleballs</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:44am<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:35pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:15am<b>BantasaurusRex</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:52am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:55am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:00am<b>assurant</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:17am<b>drdanie2</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:08am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:27am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:14pm

Fucked!<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:00pm

blaackandprouud's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of blaackandprouud's badges

blaackandprouud's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 1:06am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Love

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous