blaackandprouud

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Offline (the 04/21/2016 at 11:08pm)

blaackandprouud

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3048
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About blaackandprouud : I'm Kenyan and Canadian

Everything I do is a joke so chill

blaackandprouud's page activity

Visits<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:37am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Marynfrankie</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:44am<b>chelseaclaire</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:06am<b>amine91</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:27am<b>Trippleballs</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:44am<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:35pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:15am<b>BantasaurusRex</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:52am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:55am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:00am<b>assurant</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:17am<b>drdanie2</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:08am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:27am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 6:14pm

Fucked!<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:00pm

blaackandprouud's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of blaackandprouud's badges

blaackandprouud's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

by Derp McShitstain / 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Health

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy