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bkingkingking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1672
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (8840)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7847) - you deserved it (25230)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (3628)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (9230)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (25999)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (4000)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4350) - you deserved it (52140)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6968) - you deserved it (25530)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (10472)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (1817)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10172) - you deserved it (35639)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (8663)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9670) - you deserved it (24138)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)



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