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bkingkingking

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bkingkingking
  • Town/Country : Farnborough, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16191) - you deserved it (8532)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5130) - you deserved it (23901)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20842) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2989) - you deserved it (45587)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6359) - you deserved it (23990)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (8313)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (1647)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9209) - you deserved it (32898)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (8394)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8516) - you deserved it (21875)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (15738)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

#6029729
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6670) - you deserved it (27232)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Kailey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (1852)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (39473)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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