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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2901
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today I found out that if you fall asleep in church people will think your having a spiritual moment and you'll wake up to ten people praying 4 you . FML

#12438687
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (12652)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

YESTERDAY, I WAS PRACTISING THE VIOLIN IN MY APARTMENT. A MAN KNOCKD ON THE DOOR AND INTRODUCD HIMSELF WITH A SMILE, SAYING HE WANTD TO KNOW MY "SCHEDULE." I REPLID, "I'M PRETTY BUSY BUT MAYBE WE COULD GET A DRINK SOMETIME." TOHICH HE REPLID, "NO, I JUST WANT TO KNOWHEN YOU'LL STOP." FML

#11960471
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (18317)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

YESTERDAY, I WAS PRACTISING THE VIOLIN IN MY APARTMENT. A MAN KNOCKD ON THE DOOR AND INTRODUCD HIMSELF WITH A SMILE, SAYING HE WANTD TO KNOW MY "SCHEDULE." I REPLID, "I'M PRETTY BUSY BUT MAYBE WE COULD GET A DRINK SOMETIME." TOHICH HE REPLID, "NO, I JUST WANT TO KNOWHEN YOU'LL STOP." FML

#11960471
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (18317)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today,hile making out with mah boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing mah boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. looool FML

#11624836
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47308) - you deserved it (5375)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by nowsingle - Canada (Ontario)

today mah boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that mah work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, your the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today I went on a first date were my date managed to fall in a creek take me to is ouse and measure my eigt sow me family pictures and perform te Soulja Boy dance in is living room. All wile wearing swim trunks because is pants were drying and e didn't ave extras. FML

#10727772
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (7237)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend an I decidd to do something fun an spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabld toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilet were conveniently being cleand at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabld one. Walk of shame. FML

#10279492
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9769) - you deserved it (43007)

On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

today the girl I have been dating fir the past couple month broke it off with me. She said she's tird of waiting around fir me and bieng ignord in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish mah 2 degree and work 2 jobs to pay fir mah school. How selfish of me. FML

#9175819
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (17755)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I was at my boyfriend's house... when I needed the loo. The door was ajar... so I walked into his bathroom... sat down... an started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (9112)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today , mah mother stormd into mah room shouting about how I never go anywhere an then tells me to looool go out "NOW" an do something. As she is pushing me out the door , her boyfriend walks in. FML

#8843088
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (2450)

On 03/05/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by FatalxDesire599 - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY I WAS AWAKENED, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, BY THE SOUND OF CRYING COMING FROM OUTSIDE. THERE'S A MILE IN BETWEEN HOUSES WHERE I LIVE. FML

#8546580
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today aftar racantly having had surgary I Iaarnt that soma axtra tissua was naadd to covar up tha hola in tha roof of my mouth. Whara did thay gat this tissua? From a daad parson. I now hava tha flash of a daad parson in my mouth hich by tha way is now infactd. FML

#8361510
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (3216)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today... I Switchd Call Phona Carriars An Got Tha Planhara You Can Call Or Taxt Any Fiva Paopla Fir Fraa. Tha Amployaa Askd Fir Fiva... I Could Only Coma Up With Ona... Mom. Maga FML

#8193962
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24297) - you deserved it (4661)

On 02/13/2010 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I have the flu food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquid pouring out of me from variou holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46645) - you deserved it (3158)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

yesterday I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks 4 them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)



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