bitchpleasemike

Search for a member

bitchpleasemike

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4726
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

bitchpleasemike's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - 20 hours ago<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:43am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:53pm<b>ackligtful</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:35pm<b>IronicLights</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:09pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:57pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:13am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:03am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:11am<b>Wazl</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:42pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:46pm<b>RichHomieAlec</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Sparta2424</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:16pm

bitchpleasemike's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of bitchpleasemike's badges

bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

by holly / 07/18/2010 at 10:18am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

by holly / 07/18/2010 at 10:18am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

by nowsingle / 07/03/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

by Myzyri / 06/08/2010 at 3:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

by gedderdunn / 05/24/2010 at 2:13am / Reserved / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML

by sam / 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML

by Lonely / 03/18/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 4:17am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

by FatalxDesire599 / 03/05/2010 at 10:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

by holycow / 02/22/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

by Sophie / 02/17/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 2:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

by btg / 02/06/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Animals