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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1513
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56334) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (2371)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (4864)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (26906)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49778) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1774)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61125) - you deserved it (5803)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6994) - you deserved it (69105)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (1814)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (5870)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I bought a brand new 72" flatscreen TV. After getting it hooked up and working, we went out for a smoke. Hearing this crashing and smashing noise, I went inside to find out my 2 year old daughter had found a metal pole and decided to use it on the TV. FML

#13012319
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13907) - you deserved it (33218)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

#12964178
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm - love - by onthemarket (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34590) - you deserved it (11265)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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