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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2188
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15046) - you deserved it (214356)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95968) - you deserved it (6387)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49213) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (3986)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (67820)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21204) - you deserved it (28518)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML

#15610557
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (17671)

On 04/02/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by worthless - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (31502)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (4036)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50272) - you deserved it (4684)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

#15098921
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (19973)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Eric Forrest - United States (Utah)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13839) - you deserved it (60427)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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