bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4127
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:53pm<b>ackligtful</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:35pm<b>IronicLights</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:09pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:57pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:13am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:03am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:11am<b>Wazl</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:42pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:46pm<b>RichHomieAlec</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Sparta2424</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:29am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:16pm

bitchpleasemike's FML badges

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

by sarah / 02/11/2012 at 1:36am / United States / Love

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

by Ihaveaheadache / 02/09/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

by Sadfaic / 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

by thathottchickk / 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

by Embarrassed Swimmer / 12/11/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2011 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous