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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's page activity

Visits<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:29am<b>silon5</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:07am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:59pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:32pm<b>bummervacation</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:55pm<b>bither95</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:41am<b>niatross</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:02am<b>max367</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:19pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 2:58am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:04am<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:20pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:11pm<b>starlight300</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 2:41am

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10765) - you deserved it (41156)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

#19031754
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (1745)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23984) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (1723)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3283) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

#18504719
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (3115)

On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (16435)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML

#18400111
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28196) - you deserved it (3693)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8551) - you deserved it (107983)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (2341)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (44686)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63952) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (6084)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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