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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2292
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's page activity

Visits<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:29am<b>silon5</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:07am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:59pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:32pm<b>bummervacation</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:55pm<b>bither95</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:41am<b>niatross</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:02am<b>max367</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:19pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 2:58am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:04am<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:20pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:11pm

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (9970)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (52184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44520) - you deserved it (3415)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (7772)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

#19522114
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (21783)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (5757)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (36319)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

#19435373
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (1952)

On 04/09/2012 at 8:23am - misc - by zazzleface - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86358) - you deserved it (4251)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16737) - you deserved it (30111)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (2741)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

#19343817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37603) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)



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