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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19714) - you deserved it (85089)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90958) - you deserved it (3248)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47460) - you deserved it (18505)
On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61611) - you deserved it (8705)
On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18264) - you deserved it (58261)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (106469)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (2267)
On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96956) - you deserved it (8076)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45473) - you deserved it (4957)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57374) - you deserved it (3483)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I ran for my school's elections for President. I thought I was popular enough to win. I lost, by 61 votes, my grade is only 62 people. I was the only one to vote for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (9048)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (51974)
On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67317) - you deserved it (4700)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (50007)
On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (121502) - you deserved it (8221)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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