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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1528
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53992) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

#4554817
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49850) - you deserved it (6694)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by hellnooo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44256) - you deserved it (4970)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62852) - you deserved it (11207)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54893) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML

#4000327
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (6093)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Haryana)

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

#4000083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55774) - you deserved it (3940)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (40664)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (6615)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia that is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML

#3528367
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47858) - you deserved it (19329)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jadkins - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

#3437520
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61010) - you deserved it (7195)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

#3316685
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (4585)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

#3210112
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10475) - you deserved it (93709)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (105473)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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