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bitchpleasemike

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bitchpleasemike

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2489
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bitchpleasemike's page activity

Visits<b>Sparta2424</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>mcspazz731</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:29am<b>silon5</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:07am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:59pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:32pm<b>bummervacation</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:59am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:55pm<b>bither95</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:41am<b>niatross</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:02am<b>max367</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:19pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 2:58am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:04am<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:20pm

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (4468)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (2609)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (2453)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

#19689652
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (5441)

On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (5126)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (38604)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (3972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (5793)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (6136)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you deserved it (9461)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (32909)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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