bitcherinn

Search for a member

bitcherinn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3597
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

bitcherinn's page activity

Visits<b>AryannaT</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:30pm<b>jkt260</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:05am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:16am<b>The_Valeyard</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 5:24pm<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 2:07pm<b>cr1mson_k1ss</b> - the 04/12/2010 at 4:09am

bitcherinn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bitcherinn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

by helen_ / 04/23/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

by tsardaukar / 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

by arrrrggggghhhh / 03/04/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous