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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12027) - you deserved it (4731)
On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (1807)
On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (1300)
On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (1903)
On 01/11/2010 at 12:19am - health - by Gentleman (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (7458)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70236) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48677) - you deserved it (1962)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (4707)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (1611)
On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23270) - you deserved it (3388)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5532) - you deserved it (34168)
On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4228) - you deserved it (24240)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (1445)
On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (36322)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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