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bitcherinn

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bitcherinn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2270
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bitcherinn's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45711) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (13390)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (42491)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (42491)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (24424)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (9351)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from vacation to discover that one of my friends had broken into my house, painted my room a hideous color, ruined my hardwood floors with the paint, and left huge mess for me to clean. When I confronted her about it, she called me ungrateful. Everyone I know agrees with her. FML

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (105576)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (4413)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (1763)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (5675)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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