[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

birthdaybitch123

Search for a member

birthdaybitch123
  • Town/Country : new york, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 May 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 303
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About birthdaybitch123 : i like pretty much all types of music, and imm the bday bitch!!! lol luv yaa

birthdaybitch123's last visitors

ily1210lmc94GreeenEggsAndHamZebrasofa13EnergokineticLilAfonicolejim95EyelinercOnVeRsE94krystina162010lxclark

birthdaybitch123's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

birthdaybitch123's favorite FMLs

Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML

#12679299 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (24962) - you deserved it (12147)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (2689)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (6190)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15552) - you deserved it (15073)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (4117)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (26248) - you deserved it (3810)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (494)

I agree, your life sucks (4823) - you deserved it (37656)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (2045)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (5887)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (851)

I agree, your life sucks (233296) - you deserved it (20083)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (708)

I agree, your life sucks (349216) - you deserved it (23632)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by