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bigmikelmao

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bigmikelmao
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 558
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bigmikelmao : Always looking for a laugh. I'm an old soul, and really enjoy everything from reading and writing to making my friends laugh. I'm a bit sarcastic, and random. I'm always there for my friends, and my family is my world. Get to know me, I'm shy but I can be fun!

hatenewaims on aim if anyone is bored...no stalkers tho!

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bigmikelmao's favorite FMLs

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (5706)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

#5714367 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (5637)

On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

#5629622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (19563) - you deserved it (4135)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

#5513744 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (13545)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (10323)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (10215) - you deserved it (47759)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (57950) - you deserved it (5695)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (1696)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865 (454)

I agree, your life sucks (51848) - you deserved it (26222)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (2290)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (48305)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (4225)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States