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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11047) - you deserved it (17421)
On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (8683)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (4798)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (7245)
On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45189) - you deserved it (2148)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (2676)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out my dad has been sending dirty text messages to my mom. Which wouldn't be a problem except they're divorced and my dad is remarried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (1771)
On 11/29/2011 at 8:31am - intimacy - by bgoodwin07 - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (4675)
On 11/29/2011 at 3:00am - love - by LadyDean - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (2835)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (66966)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42020) - you deserved it (12399)
On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -
Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (1834)
On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (11557)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (11557)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (3508)
Monday 17 June 2013
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