I am a senior in high school and I like to spend my time watching daytime tv and listening to crunk, dirty south rap, hip hop, and heavy metal. I am interested in computers and technology in general. After high school I would like to go to Naugatuck Valley Community College and than transfer to Central Connecticut State University and become an IT major.
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you totally deserved it (5071)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you totally deserved it (3009)
On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you totally deserved it (5331)
On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you totally deserved it (6831)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn't currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, "what seems to be the problem officers?" He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you totally deserved it (25298)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Jstar - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you totally deserved it (19883)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38581) - you totally deserved it (17254)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you totally deserved it (3310)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was driving home, talking to my dad on the phone about losing my job. A man kept honking at me, I remarked to my dad how some people on the road are just assholes for no reason. I later realized I had left my laptop on my roof, and it flew onto the freeway. The man was signaling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5632) - you totally deserved it (37669)
On 06/01/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by computerdude (man) - United States (California)
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