benning0713

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benning0713

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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benning0713's FML badges

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benning0713's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

by ZINGER / 11/14/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy