Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bennetts211

Search for a member

bennetts211
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 765
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's last visitors

myoukeiskye_walkersSpartancjmEllaJSwiftiespeechprincessK410MissCharlottematticus27billyz77

bennetts211's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (22602)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9240) - you deserved it (56309)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (4656)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18521) - you deserved it (4611)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (4906)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25297) - you deserved it (11261)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (34244)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46160) - you deserved it (16769)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (7473)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (21622)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (44011)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49895) - you deserved it (5953)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: