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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2541
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's page activity

Visits<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:56am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:15am<b>n_g97</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>kate1408</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:41am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>skye_walkers</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:08am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:22am<b>K410</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:48am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:57pm<b>SoSexy</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:03am<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:37pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:53am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 10:11pm<b>imparfit42</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 5:20am<b>pankaj_633</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 11:20pm

bennetts211's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

by ciotter / 01/08/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

by Pita / 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

by nilssonfan / 11/17/2010 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

by mrtut / 10/29/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

by thetalkingvagina / 06/09/2010 at 7:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

by M_Kclift1994 / 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

by ToiletTony / 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

by downlowtooslow / 06/12/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous