Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bennetts211

Search for a member

bennetts211

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1130
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's page activity

Visits<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>kate1408</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:41am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>skye_walkers</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:08am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:22am<b>K410</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:48am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:57pm<b>SoSexy</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:03am<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:37pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:53am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 10:11pm<b>imparfit42</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 5:20am<b>pankaj_633</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 11:20pm<b>4samuel</b> - the 01/02/2012 at 12:32pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 12:47pm<b>FaecesOnAStick</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 1:23am

bennetts211's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (23423)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (58763)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (5852)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (11640)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (44745)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (17492)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21851) - you deserved it (7715)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (23644)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (46613)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52378) - you deserved it (6215)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53498) - you deserved it (7975)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: