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bennetts211

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bennetts211
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

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bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (2402)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (8036)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33943) - you deserved it (5072)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52800) - you deserved it (9115)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (86362)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66662) - you deserved it (6941)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (14878)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (5163)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (11288)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35026) - you deserved it (3186)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (7034)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)



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