bennetts211

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bennetts211

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2653
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's page activity

Visits<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:56am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:15am<b>n_g97</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>kate1408</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:41am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>skye_walkers</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:08am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:22am<b>K410</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:48am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:57pm<b>SoSexy</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:03am<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:37pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:53am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 10:11pm<b>imparfit42</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 5:20am<b>pankaj_633</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 11:20pm

bennetts211's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

by halloweed / 11/16/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

by shamed / 11/05/2011 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

by fire1 / 10/25/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

by Nicole / 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy