bennetts211

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bennetts211

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2091
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's page activity

Visits<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:56am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:15am<b>n_g97</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>kate1408</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:41am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>skye_walkers</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:08am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:22am<b>K410</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:48am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:57pm<b>SoSexy</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:03am<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:37pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:53am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 10:11pm<b>imparfit42</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 5:20am<b>pankaj_633</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 11:20pm

bennetts211's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

by Lea / 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

by Ange / 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

by shellie / 01/13/2012 at 2:48am / Reserved / Health

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy