bennetts211

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bennetts211

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2090
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bennetts211 : VOID

bennetts211's page activity

Visits<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:56am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:15am<b>n_g97</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:16pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>kate1408</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:41am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>skye_walkers</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 11:26pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:08am<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 5:22am<b>K410</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 1:48am<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 6:57pm<b>SoSexy</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:03am<b>matticus27</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:37pm<b>b4dah15</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:53am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 10:11pm<b>imparfit42</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 5:20am<b>pankaj_633</b> - the 03/19/2012 at 11:20pm

bennetts211's FML badges

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bennetts211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

by Megan / 08/17/2012 at 3:30am / United States (Arkansas) / Money

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

by millie219 / 08/13/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Love

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

by sober / 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

by noquiero / 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

by Anna / 06/15/2012 at 5:43am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

by hackshack / 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous