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bende

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bende
  • Town/Country : Yorba Linda, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 148
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bende's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (15268)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (3530)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (8260)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (6130)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41170) - you deserved it (2702)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46546) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (16943)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (3801)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (9882)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (25592)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3847)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States



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