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benbaker09's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (235673)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38433) - you deserved it (97897)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (74034)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (203580)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (300403)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (80957) - you deserved it (453285)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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