Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About bellakaykid : I am more of a lurker than a commenter, but I'll share my opinions once in a while. I am usually on FML on my iPhone, not my computer, so don't expect a quick reply if you send me a message. Some things you must know about me:
- I love green chiles, tortellini, and juice pouches (preferably Capri Sun).
-I am allergic to nutri-grain bars.
-63 is my favorite number, and purple is my favorite color.
- I like llamas and fat kittens.
- I plan to graduate in the field of medicine. I'm going to be a pediatrician.
Okay that's all, bye stalkers!¡
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
Friday 21 November 2014