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Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (1330)
On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15159) - you deserved it (1305)
On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (1670)
On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4725) - you deserved it (17265)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (5247)
On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States
Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (2932)
On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14130) - you deserved it (1775)
On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (3524)
On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15428) - you deserved it (1543)
On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11896) - you deserved it (2791)
On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8242) - you deserved it (17240)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24539) - you deserved it (7320)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (1711)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (4403)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (1363)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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