About bekaashley : I love sport!
Chris is AMAZING!!
I miss my daddy so much!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (2349)
On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (4046)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (1378)
On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (2122)
On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (2099)
On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2425)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (795)
On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13861) - you deserved it (3029)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (4558)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (874)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14842) - you deserved it (1275)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10555) - you deserved it (15346)
On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16803) - you deserved it (2577)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
