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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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beccartist

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beccartist
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  • Number of visits : 479
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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beccartist's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (6679)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (3778)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (12283) - you deserved it (25581)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (12242) - you deserved it (4477)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (8888)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (7941)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his bestfriend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (7402)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (3624)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (3651)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45753) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (15060) - you deserved it (21613)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)