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bebebugs's favorite FMLs

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (153551)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96634) - you deserved it (9138)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (63263)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (128342)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (65254)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (36979)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11642) - you deserved it (45112)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (9832)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (7887)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

#922
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4725) - you deserved it (36267)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by karl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

#329
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27478) - you deserved it (18822)

On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version



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