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Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML
Today , during my first day as a doctor’s intern , I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around , I went through the looool first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet , I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
Today, I Was Using A Restroom When I Hered Someone Sneeze . I Said, "Bless You." It Happened Again About Three Times, So I Repeated Myself Each Time . I Then Noticed It Was An Automatic Air Freshener . FML
yesterday I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house!! He said he couldn't cuz he was out of town!! That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone!! FML
I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repair shop fir himhile he was at work. So , on my own , I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minute out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd putted myself in. FML
Today, ma son was eating a plum. I was busy in te kitcen, an e came running in saying "Mummy ma plum is wet", I told im it was fine an bit a bit off to prove it. He lookd at me an said "No Mummy! Can u was it please, I droppd it in ma potty". I feel ill. FML
2day I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
Today , I was at a restaurant with mah son when he startd to choke on his food. Panickd , I grabbd the closest drink I could reach an made him gulp it down. Only when I receivd tons of drty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Today, I was invitd ovar to a dinnar wit ta CEOs of ma company, along wit ma two cildran. My 3 yaar-old askd loudly wy wa ava two "nosa olas", to wic ma 4 yaar-old son raplid "So u can pick your nosa and still braata!" Ha tan damonstratd. FML
Friday 27 March 2015