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beauty_blogger

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Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:28am<b>username666</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:12pm<b>krazzygood</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 8:35pm

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beauty_blogger's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (74833)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75290) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

#1770130
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (22020)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Mandy - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

#1759854
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50840) - you deserved it (5376)

On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

#1756175
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59800) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (12144)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

#1747216
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76576) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by WonderWall09 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74981) - you deserved it (3905)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115328) - you deserved it (5646)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

#1592425
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69415) - you deserved it (18199)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61706) - you deserved it (5173)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18346) - you deserved it (52720)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (56063)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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