Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About bbbuurrberries : Hey hey, I don't really know what I'm supposed to write here so I'm just going to wing it. I'm 18 and just like most people my age I've spent my life as a student. I spend most of my time on the internet. I'm really shy but pretty nice once you get to know me, well according to my friends. I guess my sense of humor might be considered a bit twisted. Things I find amusing consist of dead baby jokes, other peoples FMLs, anti-jokes and really anything that falls in line with one of those categories. I guess if you've read this then you kind of know me. Kay BYE NOW. =^~^=
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Friday 18 July 2014