About batman_516 : I'm not here to impress any of you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17189) - you deserved it (3222)
On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17961) - you deserved it (12152)
On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (27636)
On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (37202)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:47am - work - by f_ck_U (man) - China (Zhejiang)
Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (1543)
On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (2452)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)
I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13790) - you deserved it (4339)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (3752)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96952) - you deserved it (8076)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461034) - you deserved it (572785)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71419) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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