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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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baseball_34

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baseball_34
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 822
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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baseball_34's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

#5716495 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (26331)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (5706)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML

#5710708 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (2321)

On 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by dangerousknitter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (6943)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

#5669917 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

#5669435 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (16136) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML

#5040624 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (1565)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JerseyGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

#5040554 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (1206)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36349) - you deserved it (3837)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (6237)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (1785)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

#4913083 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (2270)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by ClydeBarrow - United States (North Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (2420)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (210195)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)