bartender

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bartender

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3696
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bartender's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:39am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:34am<b>lolthatonedude</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>pearlgiggles</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:18am<b>kupokid94</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 2:49am<b>bubblz2</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 5:24pm<b>maddiiee00</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:51pm<b>randomblob</b> - the 09/09/2009 at 11:10pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 11:05pm<b>leero</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 7:46pm<b>roflstephh</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 7:12pm

bartender's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bartender's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

by mrteacher / 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

by travinator121611 / 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

by juliaspaperbags / 08/16/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

by stuff / 08/16/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

by Tiff676 / 08/16/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

by dumblond / 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

by ForeverEmbarrassed / 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

by elmangy / 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous