bartender

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bartender

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4021
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bartender's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:39am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:34am<b>lolthatonedude</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>pearlgiggles</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:18am<b>kupokid94</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 2:49am<b>bubblz2</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 5:24pm<b>maddiiee00</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:51pm<b>randomblob</b> - the 09/09/2009 at 11:10pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 11:05pm<b>leero</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 7:46pm<b>roflstephh</b> - the 06/22/2009 at 7:12pm

bartender's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bartender's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

by PoorCar / 09/20/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

by Pierceew / 09/19/2009 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

by signinept / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

by asdfas / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

by oh_its_true / 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

by shushingmoon / 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

by poopEVERYWHERE / 09/18/2009 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

by megs2129 / 09/16/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML

by stillwaiting / 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

by Maggie123 / 09/14/2009 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous