barreiroj

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Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 6:20am)

barreiroj

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6316
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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barreiroj's page activity

Visits<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:45pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:14pm<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:04pm<b>nickn426</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:27pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:34pm<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:21am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:35am<b>Lang88</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:41pm<b>KatyLarae</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:48am<b>theHIGHroad2</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:36am

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barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

by H-B / 04/28/2009 at 4:53am / United States / Love

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

by jimboxo / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML

by raynbowsend / 04/23/2009 at 1:22am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

by derranged / 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm / China (Tianjin) / Love

Today, for my mom's 50th birthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money for me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, my older sister gave her the gold bracelet which made her cry. When I gave her my present she just said "oh." FML

by ohhotdamn / 04/19/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

by babysitter / 04/17/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

by blahhhh / 04/09/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

by halebop / 04/06/2009 at 1:26am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

by dramateach11 / 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous