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Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (2410)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3333)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (12244)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (10448)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (4027)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (3003)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37388) - you deserved it (2476)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37117) - you deserved it (8312)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (2525)
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (2898)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76603) - you deserved it (4403)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (2354)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (15733)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44888) - you deserved it (15755)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50369) - you deserved it (5081)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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