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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (3047)
On 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42940) - you deserved it (4389)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (7203)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7535) - you deserved it (12575)
On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (4138)
On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (1694)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (2122)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (2525)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15833) - you deserved it (2716)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15063) - you deserved it (1404)
On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16745) - you deserved it (1826)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6973) - you deserved it (17879)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16324) - you deserved it (1513)
On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5182) - you deserved it (39124)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3866)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
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