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bandgeej212

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bandgeej212
  • Town/Country : Eugene, Oregon
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 74
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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bandgeej212's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of bandgeej212's badges

bandgeej212's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (8306)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (3268)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40376) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44060) - you deserved it (14577)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39537) - you deserved it (4319)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50145) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34734) - you deserved it (5328)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (3516)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (5455)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (4720)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (22554)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML



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