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banan001

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banan001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 June 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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banan001's page activity

Visits<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:48am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:21am<b>GazaIan</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Attica</b> - the 07/23/2012 at 1:58am<b>RogueWarrior869</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 9:29am<b>Marcelb</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 9:36am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 10:43am

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banan001's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (36795)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (9318)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (3405)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (2021)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9739) - you deserved it (34378)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

#19762113
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (2288)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17232) - you deserved it (57570)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (1745)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (4024)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (2306)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (1826)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (4547)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19936) - you deserved it (1724)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46119) - you deserved it (8848)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States



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