banan001

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banan001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 26 June 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1343
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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banan001's page activity

Visits<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:48am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:21am<b>GazaIan</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Attica</b> - the 07/23/2012 at 1:58am<b>RogueWarrior869</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 9:29am<b>Marcelb</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 9:36am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 10:43am

banan001's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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banan001's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

by Aaron Lewis / 07/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

by zombieguyswife / 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

by jeremyj / 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm / United States / Work

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

by littlebigbrother / 05/23/2012 at 2:13am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

by medosin / 05/21/2012 at 8:10am / Austria / Health

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 7:49am / United States / Work

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Money

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

by tinydancer / 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML

by dan / 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy